Well hello there….
I’m 25 years old, smart, tall, blonde and skinny. Oh, and female. And, I think I have ADHD. And, I love animals. And, I’m creative.
See, I’ve had some issues in my 25 years on this earth. To make a long story short: eating disorders, chaos, depression. But I don’t want this blog to be a sad story. It’s going to be a story of hope.
Recently it hit me: I probably have adult ADHD, and I am having myself tested. It explains so much! I’m impulsive, restless, chaotic… it’s just not funny anymore. Oh, and don’t forget the attention deficit. I have DCD, I was your typical ADD-impulsive type child…. and yes, I could know because I worked with ADHD kids. Ironically the bus didn’t hit me then. About 2 weeks ago I read an article in one of my journals about ADHD-kids frequently also suffering from DCD (developmental coordination disorder). I thought it was interesting, then I thought that it was funny that I was so much like an ADD kid (with impulsiveness, but I didn’t have the motor skills to be hyperactive!) …. And at some point in the following days it hit me: but…. I still have all the symptoms; though I replaced dreaminess for hyperactivity. (I have the motor skills now)
Then, I cried. Not because I was sad, but because I was happy. Relieved.
ADHD we can work on.
I somehow managed to do really well in school; I’m rather intelligent. I never was able to study though. I somehow graduated secondary school. Then, I somehow graduated from university. I have no idea how I did that. I do know that I chose problem based learning because I knew I was incapable of attending classes. I also know that I’m a lot better at learning while doing. Anyhow, it feels like I woke up one day, put on a pretty dress and found the letters ‘M.D.’ behind my name. I did not graduate top of my class, I don’t think of myself as a particularly brilliant doctor. I’m also not the only ADHD doctor.
Then, along came work. I lasted 4 months before ending up at home with a depression and a mild relapse of my anorexia. Probably, I’ve burnt out my brains on the wards; where you have to work fast and attentive all the time… and I couldn’t make it.
At the moment I’m working 20 hours of emergencies a week; which is fine. I have about a 15 minute attention span; which is long enough to see the patient. When it gets exciting, adrenaline works as a natural Ritalin, and I’m calm….
So, that’s more or less the status quo. I’ll be posting bits on here, I want to share the troubles and joys of living with adult ADHD… and I want to manage it!