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Monthly Archives: September 2013

Ah. That explains a lot!

I’m so tired of complaining. I’m so tired of having something to complain about.

I’d just REALLY love to get my energy back and so forth. It’s a vicious cycle. I’ve been through too much, and that left me mentally and physically drained. And then I got sick last winter, and that made things worse… and all in al I have never managed to get right back to being fit and healthy because of so many random small things which are not so small if you have barely any reserve.

On the up side, I was feeling just plain good for the first time in years, right before the asthma hit me.

So, then there was the ventilation system sound problem. Seems fixed.

But I can’t really tell, because since a week and a half or so, I’ve been hearing ‘it’ and I got really pissed. It kept me awake.

And then, it kept me awake when I wasn’t in my own home, so I thought I must be going crazy. The more tired I am, the worse it gets.

Last night was bad too. So I googled, as I couldn’t sleep with this low-frequency humming.  Apparently, that’s due to some type of unknown hum, only audible to 2% of the world’s population or so, and it hasn’t been clarified.

The Hum

Great. Some sort of supernatural noise causing this? Yeah, right.

I’ve also had a sudden dip in energy levels, and have been having unexplainable muscle aches… and this thing where cycling, or walking, and such.. just makes me feel horrible. Concentration was hard. And it didn’t make sense.

Then, come to think about it, the rumbling noise always seems to be somewhat on the right side. And today I noticed WHY I was feeling horrible when moving: I feel like I’m on a boat,  with a slight tendency to tilt towards my left side. If I don’t pay attention it goes wrong.  And it started with a sore throat.

So. No.

I don’t think it’s some mysterious hum.

I think some virus is giggling very hard.

 

Just go away.

 

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Posted by on September 24, 2013 in Dear Diary, Health

 

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Busy Darling Takes A Bath

After a lot of things disturbing my sleep, I found myself stressed out. As a way to relax and help myself to fall asleep without experiencing more cramping, I decided to take a nice, long, warm bath. Sounds like a good idea, right?

Well, I forgot one tiny detail. I am me.

I ran the water at around 10pm. Added lavender bubble bath, then decided I had better use baby bath milk because bubble bath is bad for my dry skin. So added that too.

In the meantime, I did a variety of undefined things, such as deciding against doing the dishes. Every now and again I stuck my hand in the water to check the temperature.

I closed the tap, and got caught up in undefined activities until 11:10.

I got my magazine and put on some music and got in the bath.

And jumped out because it was too hot. How did that happen?

Pulled the plug to get some hot water out, opened the cold water tap and somehow managed to remember to close it before the bath was too cold.

Got in the bath. Ah. Nice and warm. Ok, now I am bored and too tired to concentrate on reading. I ended up singing along to a song while inventing bath yoga before getting out of the bath after 5 minutes or so.

Ah, so THAT is why I never take baths!

20130920-132239.jpg

 
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Posted by on September 20, 2013 in ADHD, Brilliant ideas, Random

 

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Doing it SA style!

I actually have no idea why my home country is in my head so much lately. Maybe I’m homesick.

Maybe it’s a coming-of-age thing.

Maybe I should have left this place a long time ago, maybe there’s still a hidden reason why I am here.

And right now, I regret letting the Dutch get to me like they did. I regret not staying true to myself.

For years I’ve been taught by those around me the Dutch way is superior. I was also trying to adapt to a new country.  It took me years to realise that the Dutch will consider their way superior, because that’s part of being Dutch. It took me less time to realise that there is no way I could fully become Dutch, and that I had very little desire to do so… and that it would be completely pointless as I’ll never be fully accepted. And that’s OK. I needn’t be fully accepted as Dutch. I’d rather not, actually, given the hell I’ve been through here.

I think it was an article I read in some women’s magazine. The point of the article was that women need to learn to let go or something in that line.  What struck me was this sentence, translated: ‘The current generation of 20 somethings and 30 somethings have grown up in an affluent time. Everything was possible, they could have anything, so they choose everything. Stress is a status symbol these days‘. In my mind, I saw my ‘peers’. The young women, raised by SAHM’s, who were taught the values if individualism, secularity and their own control of their lives. They’ve had it good.

Bam. That’s not my generation. My generation has experienced adversity. We knew what rape was before these Dutch kids got sex ed. We’ve seen our country change, we’ve known since our early years that nothing comes for free.  We know nobody who knows nobody who has never been confronted with violence. White South-Africans of my generation will never experience the elitist position our parents had, we’re just in there with the rest of everyone. And we knew that all along. We get on with life, shrugging ‘alles sal reg kom’. It will. Everything will be OK somehow, even if it won’t.  We, all of us, are building a new country and a new culture. And we’re in it together, yet most don’t realise it. (Most white South-Africans have no idea how African they really are. Distance allows for perspective!)

Well, I’m here.

And I am once again realising that I’ve grown up in a different world than the Dutch kids I was supposed to ‘integrate’ with. I regret how far I’ve gone before realising it’s futile, and I regret many of the choices I made. I regret not staying true to myself, but I can’t really blame myself. I regret allowing some Dutchness tempt me, but I do not know how I could have done otherwise.
These kids were affluent, grew up in an individualistic society and they were raised with all the ‘rights’ they have. They were raised to be individuals, just like everyone else. They had every opportunity available, yet never appreciated it and never had to do more than barely enough for it. I’m startled these days to see children whose parents are on social benefits walk around in expensive clothes, but they’re entitled to it. (Apparently off my tax money, but that’s a different story!)
I grew up in a rapidly changing country, and a relatively unsafe one at that. I was raised to consider myself part of the community, altruism being somewhat a given thing. (Let generalisations be generalisations please!). I was raised with the idea that I had to provide for my family one day, and at least be able to take care of myself. I never had the shiny stuff many other kids had, in South-Africa it wasn’t as bad. In Holland I had less, and they had more. When I was 14, there was no money for a new winter jacket for me, so I wore my rain jacket over my red-orange-yellow jacket, designed for a 4-year-old but made in a size I’d never grow out of. (My mum bought it when I was 9 or 10. She didn’t realise I’d be wearing it at age 11 until it fell to pieces somewhere in my mid teens). The rain jacked was stupid, but at least navy is less prominently visible than red-orange-yellow. My parents were stricter and any ‘personal development’ was aimed at my future. In fact, while many of the Dutch teens were allowed to do whatever they pleased after graduating with whatever grades they pleased doing whatever they thought would make them happy… I found myself caught in between parents -especially a father- who not only pressured me to make most of the opportunity I had to go to university, but to make sure I put survival before pleasure. …. and my Dutch school on the other hand who did not understand this at all and pressured me to pick ‘whatever makes you happy, it’s about you!’.

The same school that half marginalised me and my foreign friends – none of us here because we like tulips so much- probably because it was easier than dealing with cultural differences. Funnily enough, those I’ve managed to follow on Facebook turned out to be doing all right. And me? I’ve proven that Zaffa chicks don’t die. I’ve never had it easy, and I’ve had to deal with some pretty serious stuff I think. ADHD is the annoying one, the dangerous ones were depression and the eating disorder. Not only am I not on benefits, but I’ve graduated medical school, am working full time as a doctor and I am very much fit to practice. Thank you very much.

Side note: apparently the Dutch are one of the happiest nations in the world. This puzzles me. I rarely see them being happy. I see them being cognitive, sure, but if someone’s happy you can see that without asking!

Anyway.

Then the economic crisis hit. The Dutch responded by doing what they do best: discussing it.

I rarely stick around for Dutch discussions, as there rarely is an outcome.

I’m watching this whole circus go on. As a whole, they’re still better off than South-Africans. I watch the massive results being booked by Oliver’s House, with gifts from the community, in South-Africa. I watch the Dutch go on about how the solution is to basically give everyone the same income. MEANWHILE there ARE children here, living in poverty, but I’ve seen no community incentives to gather food for them, like I’ve seen at my relatively well-off primary school in South-Africa EVERY YEAR. I have stopped following the news, sometimes just scanning it on my app, just in case SOMETHING happens. Usually, it’s just talk talk talk. The minister of health SAYS. But what does she do?

Then there’s this new trend, mainly among Dutch women, of ‘consuming less’ and mindfulness. Flow magazine, anyone? Look, I’m a pretty creative person, but Flow magazine just makes me nauseous. It’s a middle class thing, sort of hipster I think. Main goal is to find depth and happiness I think, to each their own… I don’t understand the self-orientation in it. Doesn’t matter. Often it also involves being more of a housewife than they were before. Speaking of which, the ‘feminist’ magazine ‘Opzij’ recently woke up and smelled the coffee on sexism. Nothing I didn’t know at age 12, when I learned what being a woman in Holland meant.

Anyway. I’m watching. We have freedom of speech here, but I’ve also learned that there’s little point to voicing an opinion that isn’t mainstream: they don’t care.

And I’ve realised that this shit is not going to be over soon, and this society needs some massive changes if it wants to survive.

Nope. The Dutch way is NOT superior.

The South-African way definitely has it’s drawbacks. I mean, we’re still talking about a country in which paperwork involves actual paper and an hour long sit at the embassy or home affairs to fill it out. And we still actually DO have street children…

But still, I am doing things SA style from now on.  Why? Because, looking back, we’re a pretty amazing nation… and my dad was right about so many things the Dutch seem to be wrong about. And because it’s the only way to fix the ‘damage’ done by trying to be Dutch.

Lesson learnt. Never try to keep up with the Joneses if your last name isn’t Jones.

 
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Posted by on September 12, 2013 in I believe, Random, society

 

The Fate Of A South-African Abroad..

Just because I’m bored and my shift isn’t over: a few interesting questions I’ve been asked about the country where I was born and spent most of my childhood. All comments below are made by Dutchmen.

The most stubborn and most annoying one:
When did you move to South-Africa then?
I did not. Well, unless moving from my mother’s uterus into the world counts?
But your parents are Dutch, right?
No. My parents are South-African.
Your grandparents?
No. 3 out of 4 grandparents are South-African born and raised, one came all the way from Scandinavia.
(Very puzzled by now): But… you’re white!
I’ve noticed, yes.  (I do NOT understand this automatic assumption that the colour of my skin makes me Dutch. Last time I checked I’m very much black on paper, actually… with my formal descent being from ‘Africa below the Sahara’…)

The most baffling one, I was young at the time:
So, you’re from South-Africa? Did you turn white on the plane?
Yes. Of course…

They speak Dutch in South-Africa?
No, they don’t.
But, there’s this language that’s like old kitchen Dutch?
You wouldn’t understand it if I spoke it to you.

Can you speak African for me?

South-African is such a funny little language!
I’m assuming you’re referring to the language internationally known as Afrikaans, but this comment deserves a punch in the face as it’s offensive.
But it IS a funny little language to Dutch people… how is that offensive?
Look, we laugh at Dutch. Get it?

Isn’t Johannesburg dangerous with all the lions and hyenas in the streets?
Hey, now there’s a brilliant idea to solve some of Jo’burg’s safety issues!

So, where do you like it best?
This is a non-question. The answer must be Holland, else they’re offended. The truth? I’d be out of here in a heartbeat if I could do my job in SA… and if it weren’t for the ‘lions’. Actually, I’ve had a complete emigration planned twice. Turns out you need money to move these days.

The filthiest:
I’ve been in South-Africa for two weeks and I know [insert random obnoxious and short sighted opinion about Apartheid, Afrikaners, South-African current affairs]
There is no response to this. This person is too self-impressed to even listen to me, or to realise that they’re basically being offensive.

The what-the-hell
‘All Afrikaners are racists’.
This was in secondary school, I overheard this. I looked around, perplexed, at my group of friends: one from the Middle East, one from Congo, one from China and two from Bosnia. None from Holland, they preferred to hang with fellow Dutchmen. (My school also placed almost all the foreign kids in the same class as all the kids with ‘problems’. How am I the one discriminating?)

South-Africa isn’t really Africa!
Where in South-Africa have you been?
Cape Town.
I rest my case.

We Dutch are so tolerant and hospitable!
Yes, that’s exactly my experience. Except that we hold different definitions to ‘tolerant’ and ‘hospitable’. I needed a university degree to get past the ‘stupid’ label that comes with an accent (usually this other person speaks no other language than Dutch). Other opinions than the ‘standard’opinion are met with a frown and dismissal, not with open conversation. And there is only one country in this world where guests are offered a single biscuit after which the tin is closed and put away. In terms of welcoming foreigners: I figured out everything I needed to know to move to the UK, including wether or not I could take my pet rats with me.  After 10 years in Holland I still couldn’t figure out how and if I could stay, as it turns out I was illegal because I had been given a wrong residence permit. I spent more time holding the line than I did doing the entire research about the UK.

 
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Posted by on September 10, 2013 in Random, Rant, society

 

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4:44 AM

Night shift time.

Shift work and ADHD don’t really mix well. In my case at least. The irregular work hours sabotage any effort I do to manage things, and I am in an almost perpetual jet lag. (And then they wonder why it’s so hard for me to be on time!) That was without night shift.

I’m yet to see (again) how nights will influence this. I’m not doing several in a row. It was different when working in hospital, because there I had 2 weeks of irregular shifts with 6 weeks of normalcy.

I’m doing a single night and so far I’m holding up. I’m already jet lagged from evening shifts and some issues involving the ventilation system in my flat and the middle of the night obviously being the PERFECT time to touch up the markings on the street outside my home.  I’ve kept myself awake till 3AM last night, slept in until just past noon and then spent the day feeling like a zombie and off meds. It started out great: my 2:30PM breakfast of oats was overcooked because I accidentally put in far too much water/milk when cooking it and then kept it on the stove long enough to evapourate some of the excess. Then I noticed I had left the milk out. It started raining just as I was supposed to leave… so I read my medical mag and sorted out some old recipes at the same time before figuring out I’d have to go sort out some things for my sisters anyway. Went there with the bus, sort of walked in the wrong direction because I failed to notice that the streets were in a circular pattern… finally got there. Afterwards I did some grocery shopping for dinner (Lunner? What do you call meals when your day is night?) and noticed I had bought the only pasta sauce I don’t like.  I forgot that my second choice had a green lid, not a red one.  By that time I was feeling less zombie like and that was just me with my ADHD doing groceries.

Managed a nap between 7:30PM and 9PM. Brilliant! All went fine since, and I’m actually feeling OK. On my psychiatrist’s advice I’ve taken a lower dose of meds. I’ll be taking a second 54mg Concerta at around 6:30 because I have to go see said psychiatrist early in the afternoon. I can fall asleep on 54mg Concerta, so I might have a nap in the morning and then just stay awake until about 9 or 10 in the evening to reset. I hope I won’t feel like a zombie for three days to come.

I’m just so tired of constantly having to figure out how my day is going to work. It’s costing me so much time and energy just to get my day sorted around shift work, and there is no ‘med tracker’ app that will help me. (Oh. Meds. Atrovent. Late.) And no, setting a whole bunch of reminders every morning won’t be a realistic option, given that I’m already late.  Regardless of meds; my current 36h/week average job is tougher on me than the 48h weeks + study time I had as a student, simply because if the irregularity.

 
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Posted by on September 10, 2013 in ADHD, Work

 

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Eden revisited part 2

As promised, Eden revisited part 2, about the apple.

Perpetual Eve and her AppleS

Using the New King James Version because it turns out to be better, this is Genesis 3

Now the serpent was more cunning than any beast of the field which the Lord God had made. And he said to the woman, “Has God indeed said, ‘You shall not eat of every tree of the garden’?”

2 And the woman said to the serpent, “We may eat the fruit of the trees of the garden; 3 but of the fruit of the tree which is in the midst of the garden, God has said, ‘You shall not eat it, nor shall you touch it, lest you die.’”

4 Then the serpent said to the woman, “You will not surely die. 5 For God knows that in the day you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.”

6 So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree desirable to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate. She also gave to her husband with her, and he ate. 7 Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they knew that they were naked; and they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves coverings.

See, now why did this wildly intelligent serpent pick Eve? Was it random? I doubt it was because Adam would be better at resisting temptation, a simple ‘here honey’ was enough, as we see later on. Was it because the serpent knew she’d be the one who desired to gain wisdom? If Eve was in the same position women have been in for thousands of years, why would he talk to her and not to Adam, who would be the one calling the shots? Apparently Eve was her own person, and Eve called her own shots. And Adam meekly followed? He was THERE. He did not question her, he did not stop her, he did not open his mouth, other than for eating the fruit. Up to this point things were as God intended them, and apparently Eve was not intended to be a mere follower. Maybe Paradise Eve was the one thinking, while Adam was simply doing as he was told. Up till now, I haven’t seen any own initiative from Adam, but I’ve seen Eve make her decision and taking risks. 

8 And they heard the sound of the Lord God walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and Adam and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the Lord God among the trees of the garden.

9 Then the Lord God called to Adam and said to him, “Where are you?”

10 So he said, “I heard Your voice in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; and I hid myself.”

11 And He said, “Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten from the tree of which I commanded you that you should not eat?”

12 Then the man said, “The woman whom You gave to be with me, she gave me of the tree, and I ate.”

13 And the Lord God said to the woman, “What is this you have done?”

The woman said, “The serpent deceived me, and I ate.”

Why call Adam first? I don’t know why God did it, I know why I would. God knew what happened. The weaker one is always easier to tackle first, and the one that followed along is never the leader. Also; Adam needs to understand that he’s guilty as well. Talking to Eve first would put all the blame on her, but she’s not alone in this. Adam took no responsibility, and then points his finger at Eve AND at God because He put Eve there. Dude, you were THERE. She did not force it down your throat. And she has a name, you know.
Eve keeps it simple: The serpent deceived me and I ate. She could have said ‘That serpent You put in the garden deceived me and that man you put here did nothing to help, so I ate it’. Simply put, the Serpent deceived her and she acted on it. 

14 So the Lord God said to the serpent:

“Because you have done this,
You are cursed more than all cattle,
And more than every beast of the field;
On your belly you shall go,
And you shall eat dust
All the days of your life.
15 And I will put enmity
Between you and the woman,
And between your seed and her Seed;
He shall bruise your head,
And you shall bruise His heel.”

16 To the woman He said:

“I will greatly multiply your sorrow and your conception;
In pain you shall bring forth children;
Your desire shall be for your husband,
And he shall rule over you.”

There could not have been a worse punishment for Eve. Given that these things are Eve’s punishment, none of this were inherently Eve. We see here the result of the Fall from Grace, the consequences of evil and sin that had just entered the world. Being a woman means pain. Eve’s body has been turned against her. And trust me, that reproductive system isn’t just problematic when actually in the birthing process. I tried to look up if ‘conception’ in this case means something else than a fertilized ovum, but I failed. In this we also see emotional turmoil (Hah. Even that ‘weakness’ is part of the punishment’. ) And our longing for a man. Contrary to the explanation of grey-haired men, I as a woman can tell you that ‘desire’ is not just about sex. I doubt it was intended as sexual desire in the first place… sexual desire must have been part of the original plan because Eve was a woman in the original plan. And Adam was a man, not a eunuch. No. The punishment of God is the desire that causes us trouble. We crave love and affection more than we crave sex. We crave approval. That’s the thing: we can’t see how it was in Paradise very well, but we can see how it is AFTER the fall.
I do find it interesting that, as a punishment, Eve would have more children than intended at the first place. I am not surprised that grey-haired men use this part of Genesis to reduce women to nothing more than their sexuality and ability to reproduce. They do make a mistake by saying that’s how God intended women to be, that’s their special calling. It’s not. God never said ‘it was good’ and rested after the fall from Grace. This was the punishment for sin. And I know God has a master plan, but I see nothing that makes me believe it’s a plan in the same way men make plans. God’s plan is not that straight forward, and must be flexible. Dear men, God is NOT a man. His mind does not work like yours, and can not be explained by yours.
The last part of the punishment crushed her. She was to be ruled by three-legged-chromosome over there. The one that did a shitty job in preventing all this from happening from the beginning… and thousands of years of male rule later, we can conclude that three-legged-chromosome didn’t do a very good job. Grey-haired men explaining Genesis as summarised above is a perfect example of how being ruled by men is a punishment. If our bodies and our ‘hysteria’ didn’t keep us from being who we once were as God intended us, men did. 

17 To Adam he said, “Because you listened to your wife and ate fruit from the tree about which I commanded you, ‘You must not eat from it,’

“Cursed is the ground because of you;
through painful toil you will eat food from it
all the days of your life.
18 It will produce thorns and thistles for you,
and you will eat the plants of the field.
19 By the sweat of your brow
you will eat your food
until you return to the ground,
since from it you were taken;
for dust you are
and to dust you will return.”
Adam got off the easiest it seems. Now before the men get all offended: this punishment applies to all people. Women also turn to dust after death. Fair? No comment. Eve apparently did the sin with the most consequences. I think Adam’s punishment is hidden in Eve’s punishment: because Eve’s punishment has reduced her ability to do what she was intended for, be a helper like Adam because he can not do it alone, Adam has to do what he can’t do. Yet, the fall from Grace also must have lead to the development of male ego, as a consequence of being the boss of Eve. Or maybe male ego is HOW he was to be the boss of Eve. 

20 Adam[c] named his wife Eve,[d] because she would become the mother of all the living.
So NOW you name her?

21 The Lord God made garments of skin for Adam and his wife and clothed them. 22 And the Lord God said, “The man has now become like one of us, knowing good and evil. He must not be allowed to reach out his hand and take also from the tree of life and eat, and live forever.” 23 So the Lord God banished him from the Garden of Eden to work the ground from which he had been taken. 24 After he drove the man out, he placed on the east side[e] of the Garden of Eden cherubim and a flaming swordflashing back and forth to guard the way to the tree of life.

Gender inequality is the result of the Fall from Grace . God’s initial creation had Adam and Eve being equals, but male and female. It was good in God’s eyes. After the Fall, it was no longer good. 
I am a Christian, and the New Testament teaches us about the Ultimate Grace. God Himself died for our sins. We are forgiven, but we are not yet in the New World yet, where ‘It will be good’ again. We’re still hindered by the Fall. Jesus has died for Eve’s sin, taking that punishment on Him as well. 
We are all so full of sin, we all do things that go right against how it was ‘intended’. I sometimes want to shake people: do you not SEE?  If I am to live more like God intended me, I am to be more like Paradise Eve. If I am to live in faith and love and harmony and purity, like Paradise, I can not tolerate any doctrine teaching me otherwise. There is no harmony in oppressing oneself, but there is faith, love and harmony in using my Eve-ness to be a helper. 
Jesus himself was a massive feminist. We know that women in the society He dealt with were pretty low, and only had worth by terms of the man they’re married to. As were the women in the Greek societies, they were property, cattle. The New Testament made men responsible for their families, by stating that they were inseparable. (Apparently, in the time Paul wrote about the man being the head of the household, understanding of the human body wasn’t far enough for them to know the head was the rational, thinking part. They thought they thought with their torsos. They did know that if you separated the head from the body it meant death. How powerful is that? And…. we saw in Genesis that men were to be bonded to their wives and become one flesh. Inseparable. Amazing.). Jesus talked to women, Jesus helped women, Jesus went in against the culture of disrespect for women. Jesus never once saw women as mere sexual breeding machines, he saw the person behind the hooker, the widow and the slut. 

So how can one be Christian and NOT be a feminist?

 

Note: I’m not here to discuss the scientific proof of the Bible, or whether or not the world is literally created in a week. The Big Bang theory is a theory, and being scientifically schooled I know that science is no more ‘definite’ than faith. The Bible is the word of God, and it’s foolish to imagine it would fit in any of our mindsets. Genesis sketches some things, and to me it’s not about whether or not it’s the literal truth, it’s about the truth of the Word. Sometimes I feel my ADHD is a gift from God, with a human label. Especially since it’s paired with what may be a Mensa level processor. I don’t think in the box, and I don’t think in words, and my IQ can keep up with my ADHD if necessary.  In my mind I paint pictures with all my senses, rather than creating boxes. Almost like looking at something and being able to combine several light settings to see it more clearly. That’s how it works, also when reading the Bible or even in prayer.

 
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Posted by on September 6, 2013 in I believe, society

 

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Monthly Adventure August: being a patient!!

Not very ‘adventurous’ but it has been what August has all been about. And I suck at it.

Of course I have been a ‘psych patient’ for years. But that’s not new.  And ‘psych patient’ is really overrated, 1 in 4 adults will suffer from mental illness at some point. And if illness is a deviation of the normal state, I’m not ill because ADHD IS my normal state. It’s not my fault the world suffers from quite the opposite. 90% of the problems I encounter with my ADHD has to do with other people being unable to deal with me. Ok, 90% may be a bit overshooting it, but it’s a lot.

ADHD is not the problem. It’s having ADHD in a non-ADHD society.

Anyway.

So, I became a lung patient this month. Great fun, hanging out in the waiting room with a bunch of very friendly people who- judging by the wheelchairs and oxygen tanks- may be standing with one foot in the grave. One guy even greeted me in the waiting area for the X-rays. But, honestly, it was very cosy in the waiting room. I even had a chat with the out-of-hours-GP… well, she did the chatting, I did the gasping. Roughly.

Puts a new perspective on things when you’re the vulnerable one at the other side of the table. I must say, I enjoy the doctor side more. This asthma is horrible. I’m doing better now, but I’m still not done with it. Sadly.

Oh well, if nothing else, it has taught me a lot as a doctor. Nobody wants to be a patient. (unless they have Munchhausens).

 
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Posted by on September 5, 2013 in ADHD, Monthly Adventure

 

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