I’ve been in the specialist training programme for two weeks now, and while it’s pretty serious stuff, I can’t help but find myself funny sometimes…. I’m just trying to manage and make it work with my alternative mind…
* Today I got startled by the same prank dummy three times. When I see an elderly person on the floor, my first response is Safety-ABCDE… So essentially I almost resuscitated a dummy filled with toilet paper three times.
* Then, when I was supposed to use a test patient at the out-of-hours-service intro course, I actually managed to open a real patient file. Hey, how was I supposed to know Testington (altered name but you get the point) was a real name?
* I’ve spent two hours trying to read the assignment. I started panicking when it required me to read ‘chapter this and this’ in a book on communication skills. I still don’t know exactly what the assignment is, my plain text retention is that low. And then I got frustrated when, at the end, they mentioned the system used at my uni. All this frustration for something I already know.
* I still haven’t gotten round to reading a book about talking.
* Step 1 in my assignment was: reread literature and notes from med school on communication skills. Communication skills was a do-class at my uni, and while we had literature I suppose it was all in the uni library. I may have looked at it because ‘you will be doing a simulation of a bad news convo tomorrow and we’ll be filming you’ is pretty motivating to look for a few tips if you’re in second year. I threw out all my lecture notes because I moved a few times in between. But, always keen, I dug into my cellar box. No lecture notes, no hidden and forgotten literature. What I did find was an evaluation booklet for my Internal Medicine clinical rotation….
* Speaking of communication skills, I find watching Scrubs quite useful.
* Speaking of lectures, I think I was pretty bad at attending those anyway.
* Meanwhile I’ve figured out about 5 creative ways to examine children who are bent on not being examined.
* I got myself a new planner, as I already lost overview of my small one.
* Apparently my ‘if all else fails please read instructions’ approach scares others in my group. I suppose it does require, ahem, a special kind of mind. We did a learning style test, and I was all in the ‘experience’ learning corner. Yes, I may jump in first, but that doesn’t mean I’m not observing and thinking WHILE jumping. My IQ can keep up with my ADHD if required, remember? And thanks to hyperfocus I can learn more in 5 minutes than others can in 20, linking it to all of my senses if I’ve just experienced the problem.
* Channeling my ADHD actually makes for a few brilliant differential diagnoses. And a doctor who is razor sharp in case of emergency (adrenalin still beats concerta by far!).
* That being said, I’m on new territory for me. I’ve spent most of my career so far dealing with extremes. I’m insecure, and I find myself being truly surprised when people ‘buy’ it because I’m still wondering if I’ve missed something….
But, what I do find absolutely fantastic is that I’m not the only one in this job who isn’t perfect. I’m not the only one who doesn’t have all the answers, in fact, I’ve been told that I’ll never outgrow the occasional foot-in-mouth-moment in general practice. It’s a combination of run-of-the-mill things, surprises, personal stories, puzzles, brilliant ideas and what-the-hell moments. Definitely not for the faint-hearted. It’s guts, grace and genius combined.