I have a confession to make. Lately I’ve been less than compliant with my meds. It has everything to do with being very angry about the course at the uni…. I’m facing the first evaluation this Tuesday…. and as a result being fed up with ‘normal people’.
I am off my Concerta at the moment.
I am posting this.
Listening to music.
Working on my report.
Painting my nails this colour:
Trying out a new rose tea.
Looking at city trips to rome.
At the same time.
And that is OK. For now.
You know what?
I don’t always WANT to be ‘normal’. I am grateful that my meds are available to me, but I am equally grateful for just being me. Doing 7 things at the same time, thinking about 20 more. Unable to stand still, having energy. Energy. Wow. Concerta is such an energy zapper. I dream of a world in which I don’t have to drug myself in order to get anywhere in it.
Rose tea is… rosy. And weird.
Music sounds so much better without Concerta. That’s one of my favourite things of having… nay.. being ADHD. Being able to experience music in my entire body. Being wrapped in it. Hearing all the different layers at once.
ADHD is how I am. I wish there were more like us. Really. It’s only a disorder because of the world we live in. Of course, I’m not a list of symptoms, but the way I am wired is just… the way I am wired. I suffered from depression, I had anorexia. But I was born with ADHD and will die with it. And that’s OK, God loves ADHDers.
I also may or may not have quit taking birth control pills in favour of a more natural thing. I may or may not be extremely happy about this decision, having enjoyed oestrogen power…. and this may or may not have brought us closer. Seriously. I am woman, hear me roar.
By the way. Undrugged I can clean my house in under an hour. Hah.