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Pregnancy and ADHD…

You know that thing called pregnancy brain? You know that thing called ADHD?

In general, my state is the love child of the two of them. I feel hazy most of the time. I lose time, not knowing where it went and what I did with it. I forget things. I have trouble getting anything significant done. I am distracted.

And my hyperactivity is nowhere to be found. I feel hazy and a bit lethargic. I’m more tired than usual, I suppose that’s part of the why.

Class is a nightmare. I spend the day just trying to not fall asleep or fall off my chair. I can’t focus one bit.¬† Their way of educating me is still not a way in which I can learn… and I leave with muscle aches and a horrible mood.

I mean, I don’t want to complain too much and generally my mood is good, but there’s just this one part that is frustrating.

Next time I’m going to make sure to enter pregnancy with a better level of physical fitness.

Next time I’m going to have more of a plan set up before hand. Hah. Hah. Hah.

Next time I probably won’t be working irregular shifts though, that will help a lot.

Irregular shifts don’t help me at all, despite not doing nights. Having to plan every single day doesn’t work for me. I need some sort of structure in my week, so I can spend my scarce mental focus doing more important things than figuring out how and when I’m going to get my exercise in this week, for example, because most of my options are screwed over because of work.

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Posted by on November 23, 2015 in ADHD, ADHD in women, adult ADHD, Busy Baby, Work

 

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Motherhood impending….

I’m 11w3 days today. Sitting in the passenger seat of Padda while TDH is driving us home from his parents. We had his sister’s bachelorette party and her fianc√©’ bachelors party yesterday. 

Bachelorette parties that include cocktail workshops are a bit different without alcohol. After all, a virgin cocktail is essentially a fancy fruit juice. The irony being that the reason why I need a virgin cocktail has everything to do with not being a virgin. I should have had a Virgin Mary….

I’m really grateful that TDH is driving. Fatigue and being off meds make an hour and a half a long time to be focusing on driving. I’m slowly doing better in the fatigue department and I’m past the morning sickness. Apparently the placenta will take over in the next week or so and I can look forward to the next stage of pregnancy. 

I must say I was struggling over the past weeks. I tend to ‘forget’ that when I do manage to get stuff done. I was dead tired and my head was either exploding or very foggy. Doesn’t help with uni, doesn’t help with something TDH wanted me to do that cost some focus. Rather frustrating. I was too tired to get my limited focus ability to function. 

My mood is generally good despite the struggles, and I don’t think I am more emotional than normally but perhaps TDH is a better judge of that. 

I think I am starting to show a tiny bit. I had a tiny tummy! 

Sometimes I worry a bit that Baby may not be OK… At some point I remembered my grandma and realised: this is never going to end. Better learn to deal with it! 

It’s all part of impending motherhood. 

 
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Posted by on August 23, 2015 in ADHD, ADHD in women, adult ADHD, Busy Baby

 

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Busy baby due March 10!!

Busy baby due March 10!!

Yesterday marked week 10 of my pregnancy. I decided to blog about it because I couldn’t find much about ADHD and pregnancy so why not do something about it. 

Yes, I really am pregnant. It happened a little sooner than expected. Of course it did. My impulsive nature may or may not have something to do with it. Result: I won’t be going to my cousin’s wedding in South Africa. I will miss a chance to see my family again. 

So far I am doing well I think. Tired. Very tired. I have a cold now but the nausea has lessened. 

I went to the gynaecologist beforehand to talk about meds. Essentially I had to stop taking concerta by the end of the first trimester and I will be followed by a gyn (or rather a few different registrars) because of it. In the end I fell pregnant during my vacation off meds. I never really started back on them except for a few tablets for school. 

I’m definitely more ADHD although I am often too tired for the ‘H’. 

We found out a week after the engagement. 

Had a first sonogram last week. Really strange to see this tiny baby thing inside of me. He or she was moving! Or it’s my imagination. But I saw movement. And the heartbeat! 

TDH and I and the rest of the family are really happy. 

I’m going to talk again later as my eyelids are getting really heavy….

 

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“I don’t believe in labelling kids….”

Today I gave a presentation about ADHD for my group of GP registrars. Just this morning I joked that instead of giving a presentation I should have filmed myself trying to make the presentation and just show that. By this time I am permanently off my meds and I think the max focus time for this presentation was 5 minutes. 

Still impressive that I managed to make something coherent out of it. Suppose it’s one of the things I learned it 29 years of ADHD: the skill to make a rough draft for a project in less than 10 minutes.

Anyhow. 

So these are a bunch of doctors. 

I was just running through some basic stuff. 

And two of them didn’t really believe in helping these kids by ‘labelling’ them. After all, if pedagogic measures can help some? 

I tried to explain that if pedagogical measures solve the problem there is no ADHD. That these kids need more guidance. That you help them to understand themselves and to deal with their relative impairments. Yes but doesn’t everyone have their issues? We all have to learn to deal with our issues. Yes, but you all don’t end up screwing up your life because of it. Aren’t they just lazy? No. 

Honestly, from one of them it made sense. She was in my mentor group and I feel like I get it now.

She doesn’t want to get it. 

Makes sense why my trying to explain my ADHD issues in mentor group didn’t help much. She wanted to hear that I use it as an excuse. She didn’t care that I only offered as an explanation while I struggled on to make things right. 

There wasn’t time for much of a discussion. 

I’m not really sure if I really was going to put in the effort. If people don’t want to hear they don’t want to hear. 

TDH reminded me that it didn’t matter because I know the truth.

Because to be honest, it’s hard not to take it personally despite the fact that I didn’t mention my own ADHD to the general group.

Then I was thinking. 

Perhaps I’d rather have ADHD than a mind that works like that. 

 

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No longer tolerating meds?

No longer tolerating meds?

A brief history.

I started taking Ritalin and then Concerta about 3 years ago, maybe a bit more. I remember how calm I became the first time I took it. I then eventually ended up taking 72mg of Concerta each morning, and 54 in the afternoon.

Last year, when I went off the Pill and we opted for non-hormonal contraception instead… or after I settled into a more natural rhythm? I suddenly found myself not tolerating the higher doses as well. I went down to 54mg and 36mg and sometimes used Ritalin when I didn’t want to use another dose of Concerta. I ended up using 36mg and 18mg for a few months.

And now I’m having some trouble staying focused on my work but I’m too scared to take half a tablet of Ritalin (which I eventually just did) because it feels too strong now. I don’t know why that is.

A few weeks ago I started swimming on Saturday mornings, in order to get fitter. Because I wanted to see how it goes without… and because I exercise better without meds, I didn’t take anything on Saturdays. I also started taking vitamin supplements.

About a week and a half ago I felt really awful on Friday, figured it must be the allergies. I felt better in the evening and on my med-free Saturday. I skipped Sunday too. I only took the 18mg on Monday because I had this idea that I want to see how it goes. I had some trouble with it on Monday, my mind being too busy.

Took my normal dose on Tuesday and it felt horrible.

Took 18mg on Wednesday and it felt half as horrible, but still found myself waiting for it to wear off so I can feel normal again.

And that was the last time I took it, until now.

I was hyper, but pretty focused and such, for my doing at least.

I don’t know why.

Perhaps I’m just in a good spot ‘naturally’. I mean, I’m having trouble studying but that’s about the hardest thing for me to do!!

 
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Posted by on June 14, 2015 in ADHD, ADHD in women, adult ADHD

 

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Wardrobe Management for Chaotic Fashion Victims

Also posted on busydarling blog

Time for another post, and time for another useful (or, so I like to imagine) ADHD post. But, also quite useful for anyone who likes organisation or who owns more than five tee’s.

My recent project (almost finished…) was to switch winter and summer clothes. The reason behind the switch is overview: there technically is enough space in my wardrobe for all my clothes, but I find it easier if I can’t see the stuff I won’t be wearing for a while for obvious reasons (such as summer dresses being a bit chilly in the snow). I have a lot of clothes, and I’ve impulsively bought too much over the past years. I’ve been guilty of buying something I NEED or MUST HAVE double because I forgot that I already owned something similar… And simply put: being organised as much as possible really helps if you’re a chaotic type.

In my previous home I had a walk-in closet (shuffle-in-sideways), which was ideal. I lived there for a year, before that most of my clothes have been stuffed inside a small wardrobe, boxes, or simply somewhere in my room. Every now and again, I’d discover things I didn’t even know I had. When I got the walk-in, I organised the stuff and had space to put it all. Then I had to move, and just had too much stuff. And somewhere, I got a brilliant idea: to turn the hooks on the hangers, and I worked it out to something that works, more or less. So, here comes.

If you have ADHD and like pretty clothes (or simply own clothes), your wardrobe is likely to end up looking like this:
photo1
Less-than-ideal. So, here’s the plan:

Supplies
– Heaps of clothes.
– Iron, ironing board (skip if you own wrinkle free clothing only)
– 3 corners, bags or baskets, or any combination of the above
– Storage bins/space (I have ones that double as poofs)
– Wardrobe closet
– Hangers
– Pen and paper
– Bakers twine, string, ribbon, whatever.
– Help, but not from a rat
photo2

Method
1) Start by designating an area/basket/bin for things to toss, things to consider, things to store.

2) Then start with something easy, like shoes. Get all shoes on one heap, clean out closet space where shoes were. Try on shoes, check their state.
TOSS: everything that is not fitting, too worn or simply something you haven’t worn in ages and shouldn’t have bought in the first place. Don’t literally toss straight away, wait till the end of the method.
CONSIDER: The shoes you can’t make up your mind about.
STORE: the shoes that will only be taking in space for the next half year because the season literally is wrong for them.
TIDY UP: The rest. Put them away neatly, paired and sorted. If needed, cleaned. I took a pair that needed fixing straight to my ‘to do’ pile in another room. You can put a piece of paper in the shoes, which you’ll remove when you wear them, so next time you do the wardrobe switch, you’ll know what you haven’t worn. I skipped this, as I don’t have a massive amount of shoes.
WRITE DOWN: what you may need to get, now that you have a nice overview of what you have.

3) Easy wasn’t it? Next: socks and underwear. Same procedure.
TOSS: non-fitting, worn or torn.
CONSIDER: Well, no-brainer, really…
STORE: Things you won’t be wearing, such as thermo undies in summer season
TIDY UP: Everything you still have left, and keep it sorted. I use two old storage bins as sock- and underwear drawers as I bought a wardrobe without drawers
WRITE DOWN: what you may need.

4) Now, for the most work…. clothing. Same procedure once again. One big heap, or… if you’re ‘advanced’ you’ll now already have a closet with ‘marked’ items, which you can remove immediately and TOSS, more about that later. Clean out the closet. Sort out the clothing, AND the clothing from storage.
TOSS: clothes you’re not wearing anymore, clothes which are ripped beyond sublte repair, stained, don’t fit, are worn or which you shouldn’t have bought anyway.
CONSIDER: well-fitting things that you may or may not wear
TIDY UP: Iron what is needed, you’ll thank yourself later. Sort: shirts with shirts (I have a pile of sleeveless, short sleeved and long sleeved), trousers with trousers, etc. Now here comes the catch: Turn hooks on hangers ‘backwards’ when hanging them, put folded clothes in the closet inside-out and tie a piece of string to the things that can’t be folded inside out.
WRITE DOWN: what you need.
photo3
photo6

5) If you’re anything like me, you’ve broken that up in pieces. You can do the same with your bags and accessories, I’m sort of sorting out belts and have forgotten about sports clothes. Now, pick up the CONSIDER heap/bin/bag. Go through it impulsively: would you feel happy in this: TIDY IT UP. No? TOSS.

6) The TOSS bag.
Put the great stuff up for sale, or give it away to someone that will give it a good home. Consider doing a clothes swap. Take things in reasonable condition to the YMCA for example, and the rest goes to recycling. H&M has this new thing for recycling fabric. Smile, you now have space!

Results
Voila, you now have a sorted out wardrobe full of clothes you can and will wear. Gives peace of mind in some sense!!
photo5
photo4

To Be Continued…
Now, the first time is a massive hassle, I know. But, next season, it will be easier. Things that haven’t been worn in 6 months need to be tossed; unless
– it’s special event clothing
– you had a reason to not wear them, that will change in the foreseeable future; such as my hatred of the colour purple last summer (I normally love purple) or the fact that I had no real reason to wear my ‘neat’ trousers for a season, but I will be needing them soon. In general, you’ll wear fashionable items for a few seasons, unless they’re incredibly dated. Of course, if you have a massive home with no intention to move anywhere ever again, you can have a attic full of ‘vintage’ clothes in ten or twenty years, but my life is fluid and besides, in 20 years time my body will have changed. Bags can be kept for this reason, and shoes.

It helps to keep a smaller TOSS bag around from time to time, and do TOSS things that get written off during the season as soon as this happens!

I found doing this for a year now very handy, and also quite insightful about my own style. I’ve learned that I do not need another t-shirt because I have about 40, for example. I got a few outfit-ideas along the way. Clothes are meant to be worn, not to be kept in closets. I get to enjoy the benefits of an organised wardrobe, wear clothes that fit and have overview in the mornings. (Of course, this requires normal tidying up from time to time). No more looking for THE OTHER SHOE for example. Somebody else gets to enjoy the clothing you don’t, perhaps even somebody who can’t afford it. You may get some cash from selling. Also: reusing and recycling is very eco-friendly. Win-win, right?

 

No kisses for me!

No kisses for me!

TDH is on his man trip with his soon to be brother in law. So this week, no kisses for me. 

I am intending to thoroughly enjoy the freedom. As I am typing this on my phone I am having dinner and watching Pride and Prejudice on the BBC. I did not take my afternoon dose of whatnot and ended up getting in the wrong tram while thinking of this post, lipstick, and how good I felt off the meds… And ironically how well I seemed to be doing 

My plan for this evening was to do some beauty stuff. Scrubbing, facial etc. 

No, we don’t do it for the men, obviously. The man is in Norway, solving a problem about a pocket knife.

While at the drug store I decided to treat myself to lipstick, it was on sale and because I have nobody around to complain about lipstick kisses, I went for it. 

  
I couldn’t wait to try them!

In order of brightness:

Maybelline Super Stay 24 color in “340 Absolute Plum”. The most serious of the lot.  

 

I decided to go pink. It wasn’t as bright as I hoped but it works well. Maybelline Super Stay 14hr lipstick in “190 Persistently Pink”.  

 

And last, but not least: L’Oreal something long lasting in “701 Captivated by Cerise”

  
A girl can never have to much lipstick I think. 

And did people really speak so difficult in the time of Pride and Prejudice?

 
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Posted by on April 28, 2015 in ADHD, Random, Relationships

 

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